The wonderful world of YOUR Legend!!!

The world of chapman is so exciting that all my fans are priveledged to share in every event that happens via my diary!!

January February March April May June July August September October November December
(I am working on my archive news for the past two months at the moment..it will be up very soon in the new format!)

Sunday 13th.......Chapman gets praise/Nan visits!/wiggins explains
After Macdonalds breakfast it was time for another Wilko shft on the helpdesk. A smile was first brought to the 'Legends' face when Tom Wiggins mum walked into the store in summer clothing!!!She even said hello to me!!! Chapman could be in for recieving huge praise as a customer praised me on how 'clued up' I am of being on the helpdesk after I assisted him with a complex situation. I encouraged him to tell the manager this, but the Gentleman said he could do better and he is going to write a letter which will go to head office!!! LEGENDARY Chapman then gets home to see that Nanny Legend has come to visit alongside other family members from the small seaside town of Littlehampton Nanny legend gives Chapman £5 to spend on sweets (how lucky I am!) Tom Wiggins reads diary section and says: "I wasn't gonna invite u lot cos that would have turned it in2 a party, which i didn't want. Burgess Hillians were present" Chapman finds excuse laughable and weak, the point is that he should have invited his loyal friends first and not the Haywards Heath scum Chapman speaks to his ex-driving instructor in Wilkos (the same man who tought Rob) He agrees with Chapman that you have to be in the RIGHT hand lane!!! All that Chapman needs now is a copy of the Highway code to officialy defeat Rob and to Prove that MUMMY legend is an Expert driver! Chapman is begining to face the fact that the 'Chap-mobile'is dead
Saturday 12th.......Chapman gets in trouble/wiggins scum
It was 12:00am. Still technically Friday night but officially Saturday. In the scate park drinking beer when two 'tramp like' people come and sit on a bench near the ramp we were on. 2 children both with rucksacks also came into the park. they were both about 10 years old and out way after their bed-time (disgraceful) Although not 100% sure we believed that these children were connected to the tramps. As the boys were walking away your legend shouted out to Tom 'steal their dinner money' (what a classic thing to say) Anyway I walked back to Tom, Toby and Danni to ask the boys where they were sleeping. Then suddenly one child said that I would lose my heart if I wasn't careful. Chapman bursts out laughing..I mean how could two young boys steal Chapmans heart.What I didn't realise is that they didn't mean 'take it away' they ment to blow it away. They said they had a gun!! Chapman laughs even more!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha. The boy claims it is in his bag, he then opens his bag and Chapman (living legend, loved by thousands, loved in france, chief comedy element of media studies and wilko hero) took a few steps back just incase this fool did have a gun. MY GOD HE DID HAVE A GUN!!!!!!!! CHAPMAN RUNS ACROSS THE ROAD OUT OF THE FIRING LINE. The legend frantically dials 999 only to have my phone not allow it!!! Chapman then skips home (only 2 minutes away) and asks Mother legend for advise. Chapman then dials Sussex Police. After being transferd a few times gets to speak to someone about my near death experience. The most comical thing was when the policeman said where are your friends now and i said "oh with the boy who has a gun!!!!!" for all I knew my mates could have all been shot dead!!! But hey when you are a legend you think of your own safety first. O.K he didn't 100% have a gun but tom Martyn said he did. And why would the boy open his bag if he didn really have one. It could have been a toy gun ? So chapman tells the police that basically two young boys are walking the streets alone. Your legend was just been a caring member of the public. It is dangerous for Children to be out at night especially when they are tramps. Chapmans theory was that calling in the police to find then ment that they would eventually get a place to sleep and re-united with their parents. I just added that they may have a gun. Chapman is waiting to be contacted by the police for more information in thsi matter. Chapman spends evening in the pub with Gareth Beavis, Gareth, Tom, Toby and Robert Fuller. Topic of conversation turns to how Tom Wiggins had a BBQ for the F.A cup final inviting Jess Door and other haywards heath fools. The crime is where were invitations for the burgess hill people. Chapman-Not invited Gareth-Not invited, Rob Fuller-Not invited. Chapman working was besides the point!!! Tom Wiggins is not the great blokkie I thought that he once was. Chapman is always loyal to Wiggins and this is how he repays him by making him a social outcast and depriving him of Jess. Pub evening ends when Chapman points across the pub to someone, a drunken thug thinks Chapman is pointing at him and starts making threats. Chapman tell the drunken fool that he's poining to someone else. The drunken fool then thinks Cchapman said "i can point to whoever I fucking well like" he must have been hearing things..would Chapman ever say something as daring as that to someone older ?ha ha ha 4 continents has Chapman buying Cheesey Chips!! The woman behind the counter is beggining to recognise Chapman!!
Friday 11th....Party of crapness
Chapman skips college to stay in bed..LEGENDARY!!! In the evening it is off to Christinas house..but this time for a party. We arrive at house to see that the dog had urinated on the floor..oh such a nice smell!!! With Southern FM as the musical entertainment we were just sitting down drinking beer as more and more males piled into the house. Needless to say the Legend has standards and the final straw was when someone from Burgess Hill came along sober then chucked up on the sofa..classic!!! so it was all bundle into the 'Chap-mobil'and race back to the 'Top House' in time for last orders. Friend of the site Tom Wiggins was there with his sister who was wearing her famous Bagpuss t-shirt!! Off to 4 continents for the now famous Cheesey Chips although the CHAPatti shish roll was tempting for £2.50 After we picked up Toms girlfriend it was back to Chapmans House to drop of the 'Chap-mobil' and carry our remaining 15 cans of beer to the park (old skool style!!)
Thursday 10th....So eventful!!
A quiet day for the legend
Wednesday 9th....Mother dising continues
Rob continues to spread the bad reputatuion of Chapmans mums driving to all. Rob says he isn't bothered about what happened on Sunday...then why does he proceed to tell anyone who will listen ??? American girl Christina had a free house and Chapman along with Toby Hinkins and Gareth Davies went to see what the house looks like. We were promised a house full of just females but lots of little boys were there not to the legends liking. After much persuasion Gareth (male slag that he is) stayed the night with Christina. He had to go home early in the morning though as Christina had school to get to!!
Tuesday 8th....Robs driving claim
Today Rob Ridlington accused Chapmans Mum of being an idiot for driving in the right hand lane when at a round-a-bout when the turning came after 12 o'clock if you imaging a round-a-bout to be like a clock face. But that is correct you may be thinking and yes it is but try telling Rob that. Rob was in the left hand lane and was taking the same exit as us!! Rob (who failed a driving test for going in the wrong lane at a round a bout) said the my mother cut him up!! Some foolish people in Media studies though that Rob was right and was laughing along side him in dissing my Mum. Chapman needless to say was very fired up and offered Rob the chance to settle it outside. Chapman forgets that Rrob is no man but just a pansy!! It was also interesting to see that Rob couldn't get out the class room quick enough at the end of the lesson. He was running scared!!! This war will continue and I will prove to the world that my mother was right and he is a stupid Bastard!!! Leeds lose in Champions League semi final so it is off to the 'Kings Head' to drown my sorrows!! Seeing legendary singer Steven Denver singing Rabbit Rabbit by Chaz 'n' Dave and Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond was a treat for all. Also today Madge Bishop dies in Neighbours. At least she died knowing that she HAD met Chapman in her life in Brighton about 10 years ago!!! TRUE STORY FOLKS!!!
Monday 7th.........Illness continues
Son of God and a Legend I may be but even Chapman can be ill. Your legend updates website and watches Snooker final. Come on! I have to have an average day accasionally! Girls send Chapman lots of text messages begging for him to go to the pub. However Chapman declines much to their bitter disappointment! Chapman plans to kill the U.E.F.A.disaplinary panel after banning Lee Bowyer for 3 Euro games for an alledged stamping incident..Leeds will now lose to Valencia for sure	Lee Bowyer
Sunday 6th..........Shock discovery/Public sexual action!
Chapman borrows a copy of WWF insurrextion to discover a huge scandal of amature preportions (details cannot be disclosed) Off to pub for the first social outing with Gurr and Fanner since the famous bust up. Tom and Sarah Wiggins are both there. Sarah wants the rumors stopped about the Chapman/Sarah relationship. 4 continents was priveledged to have me buy some more cheese and chips. Tom Wiggins, Lizze and Henry walk in and Shout out 'CHAPMAN'!! and 'JESUS'!!!!More Scandal as some people stole food from the establishment. The chef ran out of shop to chase the thieves asking me and tom if we had seen some coloured people. Tom was classic in saying "what are they blue ?" Chapman directs the chef in the right direction. It was all bundle in the 'Chap-mobile' in a hurry just incase the blue people realised it was 'the Legend' who got them chased by the chefs !!! hey it was in the line of duty! Also after the pub Carol (one of the school girls) and Sogi (her 19 year old boyfriend) were in doorways getting it on. Lots of fluid came trickling down the road. It is unknown if it was Carols juices, Sogi's fluids, urine, siliva, or just water ? Henry then told Sogi that he would rather crack one off than shag carol! Much to the amusmant of Lizzie! As we were running to the 'Chap-mobile' we found yet another trail of fluid from another doorway.. what the hell were these two kids doing?!? If only Sogi realised that his girlfriend wanted to get it on with Chapman behind his back this time last week!! All I have to do is say the word and she can be mine..but am I that desperate ? (O.K don't bother answering that one!!)
Saturday 5th.........Chapman is Ill
Chapman wakes up a little ill. Is it because of the watered down pints at the Top House ? As the day progresses Chapman develops a cold..(nose is like a bloody tap man!_ Anyway Chapman stumbles into work just so that he can keep up his 2 years and 2 weeks without a day off ill from the company. Chapman postpones the pub outing much to the disappointment of his fans. Instead Chapman creates new diary page and talks to Tom Wiggins about forming a band and dating his sister!
Friday 4th..........Latest Pub news
After more ridiculous abuse from the St Pauls Girls Chapman bombs off to college only to see Simon Frowen at the side of the road being beaten up by policemen. Simon had crashed his mini..which shamefully was a complete write off .the police were beating him with their trungeons as the were enjoying a tea break when they were called out to deal with the incident. Evening comes and Chapman goes to his home away from home 'the Top House' The girs beg Chapman to go clubbing but Cchapman refuses although Gareth and Toby go as they can't resist a bit of 'schoolgirl' flesh. Chapman then joins other friends for beers when in walks Tom Wiggins!! a member of the newly found Chapman co-alition
Thursday 3rd........Chapman meets females in Haywards Heath
Today Your legend goes to Haywards Heath with ex-marine trainee Gareth Davies and Toby Hinkins to see the St Pauls school girls in their home town. Hinkins is almost killed on the journey there as a car nearly smashes into the back of him!! After walking around victoria park for half an hour it is off to the Star pub for a drink. Due to the girls being 16 we stay in the pub garden. Chapman is on his usual comical argumentive form by abusing all women in sight.
Wednesday 2nd....Bordem
Today is a rare non-eventful day in the life of Chapman although he gets to have a chat to Jess for about 20 minutes in the common-room after media studies! Chapman is then glued to the television in the evening to see Leeds draw 0-0 in the Champions League semi final first leg
Tuesday 1st.....Pool Legend Chapman just keeps winning!!!
It was out to the good ole' Kings head once again. This time for a Wilko Workers birthday. Legendary singer Steven Denver was ill so playing Pool was the order of the evening. Chapman plays 11 games only losing once. Chapmans best scalp of the evening was of Alan the notorious security guard!